What about my Friend?

How Do I Know If My Friend Is Being Abused?

• Have you seen evidence of injuries?
• Have you accepted their explanations for her black eyes, bruises or broken bones?
• Do they miss work frequently?
• Does the partner show an unusual amount of control over their life?
• Have you noticed changes in them or their children’s behavior?

If you know someone who is being abused, you can help them by showing you care. Let them speak confidentially about their situation without judging. You may be the only person with whom the victim feels comfortable. Show you care in these ways:

• Listen to them
• Believe them
• Do not minimize their struggle
• Do not judge them
• Do not blame them
• Assure Them that they are not responsible for the abuse
• Tell them it’s not their fault. You can never make someone else hurt you
• Give them Kansas’ toll-free crisis line number for domestic violence victims
• Let them keep important papers and extra clothes at your house
• Help when you can with transportation, child care, groceries
• Tell them they deserve to be safe. Physical violence in a relationship is never acceptable. Remind them that no one deserves to be beaten.
• Help them learn not to deny or minimize the abuse. If they say, “It’s really not that bad,” state to them how serious it really is.
• Assure them that violence in the home does concern you. There is no excuse for abuse. No one deserves to be abused. Domestic violence is a crime.

Be patient. It takes time to bring about change. There are many barriers. Victims have many decisions to make to bring about change in their lives.